Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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