remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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