I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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