I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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