he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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