So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
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he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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