I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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