Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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