If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
even my farts smell like vagina
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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