i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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