I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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