I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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