Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize