a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
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