he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I've blown a few things in my day
someone owes me an orgasm
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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