apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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