Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize