Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize