my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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