i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize