Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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