btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize