you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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