Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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