It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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