We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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