that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize