She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They have beer where we have blood.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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