theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize