My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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