So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize