Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
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