Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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