Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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