who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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