Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
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who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize