Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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