when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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