I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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