She is in my trunk
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize