If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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