bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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