The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
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I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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