She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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