she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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