shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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