oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So vagazzling was a success
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize