i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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