I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Too much gin, very little bucket
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
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When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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