The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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